Warning. This post is about fetuses. If you are tired of hearing about fetuses....don't read this post. But because I have a little fetus that kicks me means I'm a bit distracted from other things. Please know that I can't help myself.

We went for our ultrasound on Wednesday. And we saw Otis*. Sometimes it was difficult for us to know what exactly we were looking at. The technician would say, "You'll have to use your imagination here, but these are his kidneys."

And we would turn our heads to the side and look and try and imagine kidneys or the cerebellum, or the gall bladder. It didn't really matter that we could truly see that black and white blobby thing was Otis's gall bladder. Personally, I was looking for an arm coming out of his forehead. Which he doesn't have. He also has a good looking spine with no spina bifida. His legs are in alignment. The nuchal fold is good. He has 10 fingers, a nose, a mouth. He has a heart that beats with 4 separate chambers. He was mostly compliant but at the end, he refused to move so the technician could get a better look at his heart. And throughout the ultrasound, as I saw him on the screen, I felt him move.

It is pretty crazy that I was looking at Otis before he was even born. I still have 20 weeks of baking to go before we meet him. My imagination is running wild. What does he look like? Who will he look like me or Dave? Will he be a happy baby? What will his personality be like? Will he be social like me? Or studious like Dave? Or neither? Will I be the mother I want to be? I have all of these questions that can't be answered quite yet. And that is okay. I'm knitting together a baby and becoming a mother myself. These things take time. And I'm coming to terms that our lives are going to change drastically. And that takes time too. So I have my questions, but I'm happy to wait for the answers.

*We don't know the sex of the baby. We didn't find out. But instead of referring to the fetus as...the fetus or the baby or it, we just go with the name Otis and the pronoun him.