running is for crazy people

debbi's picture

Today was one of those days that I felt like kicking things. I wanted to kick a filing cabinet or a small shrubbery. I woke up pissed, which is rather unusual, being as though I went to bed in a sugary movie euphoria. Dave had to get me out of bed. Let me say that again. DAVE had to get ME out of bed. Unusual noi?

At one point during the day I thought about crawling under my desk and putting a blanket over my head. I didn't want my crankiness to spread. Crankiness can be like nasty stomach flu. Soon no one wants to go into work.

A heightened level craziness/crankiness during times when I don't eat is well documented. So I must admit that I didn't eat the best today. My breakfast consisted of 4 crackers with a little bit of cheese. I ate very small amount of macaroni and cheese for lunch.

But I think my nasty day is more connected to the dwindling days I have left in Calgary. I am looking at my job winding up and I'm beginning to feel antsy at work. I love my job and I know that I will finish well; I just am beginning to pull away as I prepare to leave.

People often pull away just before they leave. This often symptom of leaving is troublesome because it causes some people to do shoddy work after they give their resignation letter, they disconnect from the community around them and people are often hurt by someone pulling away.

For the person who is leaving it helps them insulate themselves from the pain of having to say goodbye. But I think it is also a natural response when people begin to look into the future. I really love this quote from the Wind in the Willows "In due time...we shall be homesick once more for quiet water-lilies swaying on the surface of an English stream. But to-day all that seems pale and thin and very far away. Just now our blood dances to other music".

So my blood is dancing and my breath is held in anticipation. I'm hoping for the best and trying to finish well. And although I'd never actually run a real marathon, I'm trying to reach this finish line with the ability to say I didn't pull away.

Love,

Debbi

1
  • What a great quote.

    The last time I read The Wind in the Willows, I was too young to understand the significance of words like that.

    No matter how excited a person is to leave, or where they are going, the leaving part is still weird, if not incredibly difficult.