Kittens Compared to Human Babies

dave's picture

Almost a year ago I found four kittens in the trash near our house.  At the time I speculated that it was some sort of divinely appointed boot camp to train us for future children of our own.  Now that that day has come I've been speculating on the parallels:

  • Both kittens and human babies need to be fed every 2-4hrs. 
  • With fostered kittens you can alternate the feeding with your spouse/partner/roommate.  With human babies (non-fostered) there's only one person that can do the feeding. 
  • Time to feed one kitten: 15mins.  Time to feed one human baby: 1-3hrs. 
  • When not feeding a kitten you just stick it in a cardboard box with a hot water bottle and forget about it for a few hours.  I suggested this to Debbi for Jasper and didn't get the response that I was expecting (kidding!).
  • Feeding a kitten just takes a bit of time (or a lot of time when there's four of them).  Feeding a human baby also requires a load of energy to first produce the milk.  Consequently mom's schedule becomes that of the baby: Feed for 1hr, sleep for 2hrs, feed for 2hrs, sleep for 1hr, repeat always with a random time for feeding and sleeping. 
  • With kittens you can just leave the house when they're not feeding.  Just be back for the next feeding.  You can still go on dates, go for groceries, go to work, have a mostly normal life.  With Jasper we do sometimes let him nap in the bedroom while we're in the living room, but we're in there every five minutes to make sure that everything's okay.  He could roll off the bed, puke, just spontaneously stop breathing, or a host of other potentially disastrous things.  We were worried about the kittens too, but that was for unknown disastera, for things that we couldn't do anything to prevent. 
  • Both kittens and human babies are real cute.  But one is soooo much more than simply cute. An article in the SCMP yesterday about fatherhood had a few words that summed it up nicely:
    That's something no one ever mentions when they tell you how your life will change. They mean you won't sleep as much and you might have to change cars. But no one ever tells you how much staring you'll do. Quiet, soulful staring. You study every flicker, every moment, every breath, every twitch of a finger or sigh. Evenings melt away into nothing. Half-watched box sets spill their DVDs, untouched since the night before this all happened.
0