Death and poker **updated**

debbi's picture

Now that I have a month to wait before I get back to work and seeing how laundry only takes an hour of my day I picked up some books on the way home to keep me occupied in the coming month. I am currently reading Marian Keyes "Anybody Out There?" **SPOILER ALERT***and***MORBID ALERT***

 

I spent the first half of the book being confused as to why this protagonist is bandaged up and why her husband isn't talking to her. I totally ignored all the hints as to why he wouldn't reply. Maybe I knew deep down. But turns out she is in pain because she was in a bad car accident and her husband died in the same accident.

*Insert me completely falling apart after reading this.*

The premise of this book is my worst nightmare. I banned Dave from riding in any vehicles. He thinks I'm joking. I'm not. ha.

I don't want to live a fearful life. I want to be able to laugh and run and not be worried about Mr. Death kicking around my husband's or anyone's door. Perhaps I'll sell my soul or something for a few worry-free years. ha.

Or maybe I'll just fold in my poker game with the universe and let go. I can still love people even if they aren't physically here anymore.

**UPDATE** I know that the last sentence here is very glib. Too glib in fact. I was trying to make things light-hearted because I was bawling my eyes out. Remembering people that I love who are gone and how I couldn't bear loosing someone. So please forgive my shamelessness.

Love,

Deb

 

2
  • Deb,

    I'm totally with you on this one.


  • I guess you have a few options here. You could become paranoid to the extreme forbidding Dave from any dangerous activities, flying, driving, biking, high fat meals etc and hope that you can prevent any misfortune from befalling. Or you could create emotional barriers around yourself. If you don't love, you can't get hurt. Or you can cherish and appreciate each moment you have with your loved ones and accept these moments for what they are, gifts from God.